My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
