Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was like getting head from an anaconda
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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