I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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