i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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