$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
