I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize