Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
