no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
