Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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