You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Tell her she can't have a vagina
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
