Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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