covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
