Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I smell like Dick and happiness
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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