went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
