Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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