i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
