Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize