I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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