Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Someone came in the potted fern
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
