Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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