i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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