Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
As shirtless as possible
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
