There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You can't special order awesome
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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