Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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