We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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