goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
