also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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