My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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