It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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