Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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