Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize