Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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