Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
