You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
