I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
