im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
