Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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