Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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