at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
