I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
