there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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