Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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