when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
