If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
