the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
