You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
