You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
