I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have post one night stand depression
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
