3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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