Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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