Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
