And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize