I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
