He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
