i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
