from now on my penis is your penis
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
