Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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