I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
