I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
