I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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