I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
