i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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