I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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