Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
