apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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