So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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