Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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