So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
