when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize